Some nights you dance with tears in your eyes
by Mrs Scorpius Malfoy
Summary: Building bonds and having emotions made life harder in the long run. "Tell me, Sasuke, what was the point if you were going to break my heart like this?" Coming of age!AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto and I make no profit from this**

* * *

 ** _Some nights you dance with tears in your eyes_**

 _Out of all the possibilities, all the scenarios, the what-ifs, among the crowd of attendants and special guests, among the glitter and glamour of this special night, their eyes met. And Sakura forgot how to breathe._

.

.

.

 **Now**

Sasuke woke up with a mean hangover.

He unconsciously scratched his bare chest, his eyes adjusting to the blinding morning light that shone through the large window of his apartment. His body still felt numb, his senses slowly coming back to life like they always did when he spent the night this way. It had been a while since he'd gotten to this point. Normally, he would wake up with enough energy to get up, prepare a quick protein shake, and head over to the gym in spite of his nighttime activities.

But this time, Sasuke took his time while he sat up on his bed, the bed sheets revealing his upper body and the other attendant (or attendants?) who took up the other half of the mattress. He could vaguely remember last night's events, though he always chose to drink enough to forget how he got from point A to point B. He'd developed a habit of always forgetting faces, never learning names, and never bothering to ask questions because he was not in search of a connection.

He got up from his bed, noticing that he was completely naked. The thought of covering up crossed his mind, but he once again looked at the other people using his bed and decided that they would take much longer to wake up. He could make out heads hair of different colours and lengths, and more than one pair of arms and legs, but did not bother to look at their faces. He'd probably met them at the club, having left the people he'd gone with behind to fend for themselves.

Walking over from his king sized bed to the kitchen in search for an aspirin and water, Sasuke's mind began to drift back to last night's thoughts. A hurling feeling settled on his stomach and his chest felt heavy. He ran his hand through his hair as a distraction from those thoughts, trying to find the bottle of aspirin in one of his cupboards.

His jaw tightened as he found what he was looking for. At the same time, the thought that spiraled him out of control last night and into his current state came back into his mind.

Sasuke inhaled and exhaled, all too aware that his hangover made him feel worse and more vulnerable to sensitive matters. He filled up a glass with water and quickly swallowed the aspirin pills, waiting, hoping, that the unsettling feeling he had would go away with his headache and sluggish behaviour.

But it didn't, and he walked towards the large window that gave his entire apartment a view of the other skyscrapers that filled the city.

From an outsider's perspective, Sasuke had everything. An aspiring career, a promising future, enough to get his own place in one of the most expensive properties in the city at the mere age of 22. He held himself respectably in public events and tried his best to keep his composure in check. He wore the best clothes, drove luxury cars, and could have anyone and anything at any time.

Except for the one thing, the one person, who could see behind all of this superficiality to find that he was not what he pretended to be.

Sasuke had spent the last couple years trying to forget her. Trying to forget her intelligence, her personality, her laugh, her smile, her green eyes. Whenever he had thoughts about her that were too unbearable, he ended up in this situation. He ended up going too overboard with his drinking, kissing unknown faces and sleeping with unknown bodies because it helped him forget. It helped him forget and mask the constant pain that always crept into his chest whenever a memory of her was triggered in his mind. A memory such as her birthday or her future plans.

Sasuke tried to forget about her by being with other people, by adopting a new life far away from where she was. He tried to reinvent himself because it was his best and only option. He had successfully gotten to the point of not missing her. Yet Sakura always found her way back to him, or rather he always found her in his surroundings. He found her in the way he drank his coffee, in the way he wrote his reminders and his notes during meetings, in the way he drank his alcohol because his drinks made him remember her vividly before his mind blacked out and he forgot. In rare times, he caught himself looking for her wise words, for the strong arms and hands he can no longer touch.

It had been years since he last saw her. He was only fooling himself by hiding the fact that he counted every day and every month since that last time.

He drank to forget. He drank to mask the pain, to reset his thoughts and rearrange them until they went back to what had become his new normal. Because, deep down, Sasuke knew that if he ever had the smallest possibility of seeing Sakura again, she would not forgive him.

* * *

 **Then**

This was ridiculous. Naruto was ridiculous.

This whole party was ridiculous.

"Remember, Sasuke. The secret to happiness is to have low expectations in life."

His mother always reminded him with that sweet smile of hers whenever Sasuke was disappointed with something. And that tended to happen (and still happened) quite often. In all honesty, now that he stood in this party with a red cup in his hand, he had no expectation that he was going to enjoy this night. After all, what type of party could a bunch of thirteen and fourteen-year-old kids organize that could be considered the best event of the year?

Only Naruto would consider it, he concluded in his thoughts.

Sasuke looked around his best friend's apartment. Naruto's parents were gone for the weekend, a turn of events that seemed suspicious enough for Sasuke to deduce that Minato and Kushina allowed their only son to have fun on his last weekend of junior high at home with all of his friends. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to distract himself from Naruto's annoying screeching voice among all the other voices of the people in their year.

Truly ridiculous, he concluded.

What was the point, really? If they were going to spend all summer together only to see each other in high school? Same people, same events, different setting, different uniform. Sasuke never paid attention to these meaningless milestones in life. He'd already been disappointed enough times in his short thirteen years to find significance outside of the mundane tasks of waking up, eating, and going back to sleep.

His mother's words rolled back into his mind. If Mikoto had taught him to have low expectations in life, then Sasuke was the prodigy student. He briefly wondered what his mom was up to this Saturday night. She was probably waiting for him to get home, ready to ask him questions about this stupid party. Questions that he didn't even want to answer. Not because hated talking to his mother, but more because he did not feel like he had anything interesting or important to share about Naruto's notorious get-together.

Low expectations, low expectations.

Sasuke knew that if his best friend turned around from the TV, in which he was fully immersed in beating Shikamaru in a video game, he'd notice the uninterested expression that painted his face and would invite him over. Then, Sasuke would reject the invitation but still come closer, only to pretend to be paying attention to the screen.

Tch, annoying.

"Sasuke!"

And now, even more annoyance came along. He knew that voice way too well to know that standing in this spot without moving was a bad idea. Sasuke spotted the red hair from the opposite side of Naruto's apartment. He internally groaned, knowing that this moment was going to come at some point or another tonight.

As she approached, Karin flashed him a smile that looked way too excited to be in the face of a fourteen-year-old. She never gave up, did she? Had she ditched all of her friends to come out here to greet him?

In any case, that was his cue to leave.

Sasuke did not even greet Karin back (which was something that she should be used to by now) and opened the first door he could find.

However, he did not know what to expect when he went inside.

.

.

.

This was _not_ supposed to happen!

She looked at the deep red stain on her panties and began to freak out. Sakura repeatedly thought _no, no, no, impossible!_ while she pulled her long pink hair in desperation. This was beyond the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to her.

The worst of all wasn't that she was wearing a skirt. It was that she was wearing a _white_ skirt. And _white_ panties.

Oh, no. She vividly remembered her mother's words before she left home today.

"Careful with wearing so much white, honey! You never know when your little flower may shed her petals. Your cycle hasn't found a pattern yet, so you have to -Hey, Sakura! Bye, honey! Enjoy the party!"

Sakura left her house before she could continue listening to her mother talk about the beauty of womanhood. And it was a very lucky escape, for her father had not shown up yet to lament the loss of his little girl.

Being the smart fourteen-year-old she was, she thought that the skirt looked really good with her top and the lilac bow she wore on her hair. It made her feel good when she looked at herself in the mirror. It made her forget the huge zit that had found residence on her jaw line. Besides, she never got to wear this skirt because her days were spent wearing the dull-coloured school uniform. This was a treat for her.

Boy, how she wished she had listened to her mother's words. She shook her head, making an internal promise to never say those words aloud.

Sakura's eyes began to frantically search the bathroom for something _-anything-_ that could save her in this compromising situation. She opened the cabinets under the sink and, much to her relief, found a cardboard box that carried the message to her salvation. She took a pad out of the box, thinking that its owner would not notice the absence of one single pad before she sat down on the toilet and began to clean herself.

Luckily, her skirt did not bear any evidence of her womanhood.

Unluckily, right after she put on the pad and raised her panties, somebody opened the door.

.

.

.

She looked like a deer caught in the headlights, Sasuke thought.

The door closed behind him as he realized the mistake he had made. He wanted to punch himself for being so careless. Who went inside a bathroom without knocking on the door? Yes, Naruto's apartment was his second home, but with so many of their classmates attending this excuse of a party, Sasuke should've known that checking where he was going (and which door he chose to open) would have been a much safer choice.

Sasuke tilted his head, wondering if this schoolmate of his could move, talk, or breathe. He took a sip from the cup on his hand and crossed his arms. It seemed that she was done doing whatever she was doing in here and was ready to leave. Which was a perfect opportunity, really, because it meant that he could stay in this bathroom without somebody bothering him. She'd probably go back to join Karin's group.

But the girl didn't move. And so Sasuke leaned against one of the bathroom walls, bent his knees, and dragged his back down the cold ceramic until he reached the matching floor. Then, he settled his drink in front of him.

It was only in that moment that the girl flinched, squeaked, and then reached for the flush before she lowered the toilet lid. Sasuke he had to contain his blush as he realized that this girl had not finished her business in the bathroom, and he had carelessly interrupted her before she was done.

He was ready to apologize, but she beat him to it. "I -uh, sorry!"

Her voice was soft and only then did Sasuke begin to pay attention to her. She had bright pink hair that went past her shoulders, with a bow at the top of her head. Her green eyes, which had been watching him in embarrassment, complemented her pale skin, her soft purple top, and white skirt. Sasuke has seen this girl around school. They were in the same year if he remembered correctly.

She was an array of colours. And he was black and white, to put it simply.

What was her name again?

"I'll leave now, Uchiha-san! Sorry to bother you."

She walked towards the door and was ready to turn the doorknob until she realized that Sasuke was blocking her exit with his legs. The girl gave him a look, asking if he could let her pass. Sasuke stared right back at her in silence. He did not move his legs.

"You're Sakura, right?" he asked.

Sakura did a little skip at hearing her name, and her cheeks turned into a rosy pink. "Yeah," she stammered, "that's me!"

The look she gave Sasuke indicated that she was mentally adding things that she wanted to say, and that her level of embarrassment was about to go up the roof.

But Sasuke, for once, did not mind the ridiculousness of this situation. He was intrigued. There was something about Sakura that caught his attention.

And it seemed that Sakura was going to give up trying to escape from this bathroom. It was fortunate that Naruto's guest bathroom was larger than the one in Sasuke's apartment. Otherwise, he and this girl would be in a very confined space and he would not feel comfortable enough to stay locked in. Sakura took a couple of steps until she was in front of the toilet and sat down. She settled her elbows on her knees and the palms of her hands supported her chin.

"We go to the same school," she said after a silent pause. "I'm in the other class, though. With Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji. Ino's my best friend."

Sasuke knew those names. Those three were friends with Naruto and Karin, which meant that they were also in this party. His mind slowly started making connections. Sakura, whom he had never paid much attention before, must be here because of her connection to the Yamanaka girl. If Sasuke remembered correctly, she and Karin talked here and there.

"That's why you've probably never seen me before," Sakura continued. Sasuke deduced that she liked to fill the awkward silence with follow-up sentences.

"Haruno Sakura?" he finally asked after searching his mind for the last name.

"Yup! And uh," Sakura noticed that he was looking at her and her cheeks turned pink before she looked away. She felt self-conscious. "How do you find the party?"

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and took another sip of his drink. It was too sweet for his taste and, if he remembered correctly from his father's mixes during his childhood, this drink was more soda than alcohol. He stared into his red cup, noticing that it is still half full. He extended his arm towards Sakura and hoped that she would understand the gesture.

The girl gave him a soft thank you before she held the cup with her two hands and took a sip. "That's really sweet," she commented.

"You can have it."

This may have been the first and last time that Sasuke gives his drink to anybody. He wouldn't remember, for all the times his lips touched alcohol he'd fall into a blur.

Sakura took another sip of his drink, her eyes filled with an innocence that Sasuke had not seen in the people his age in a while. It could be that this is her first time drinking alcohol, he wondered.

"So..." once again, Sakura was trying to fill in the silence that Sasuke was beginning to enjoy, "high school, eh?"

He looked away, uninterested by the topic that Sakura chose to discuss. She started to tap her foot, and Sasuke guessed that she was trying to conceal the discomfort of his silence.

And so, he said, "It's not a big deal."

Low expectations, like always.

"Really? I think it is," she corrected him, her voice gaining confidence. This must be the Sakura that usually hung around her friends, a short glimpse into who she really was. "After all, so many things change. I'm looking forward to all those changes!"

Sasuke redirected his eyes towards Sakura's face and he could swear he could see her shine. Her mouth was curved upwards in a tiny smile, her eyes filled with a positive attitude that he had not seen in himself since -it's best not to think about that moment right now. Instead, he preferred to focus on the hope that radiated from Sakura and she continued to talk about her goals for this 'new and exciting' stage in their lives.

"Maybe we'll be in the same class," Sakura added as an afterthought. She gave him a friendly smile before she finished Sasuke's drink.

After Sakura explained a rather weak excuse, she expressed that she wanted to come out of the bathroom. This time, Sasuke let her go, already too buried within his thoughts to want to pay attention to the colourful and cheerful demeanour that Sakura had after she overcame her embarrassment. He remained sitting on the bathroom floor, feeling how its ceramic tiles were making his whole body cold after a while.

But he did not care. He stared the door, wondering, thinking.

Low expectations are what mother always told him to have. Sure, he understood where her opinions came from. Sure, he knew why he should follow that same mantra for looking forward to things had only taught him to be disappointed. Yet Sakura's excitement, her innocence, and what seemed like a lack of experience in dire situations reminded him of a time when he once felt like that too.

It somehow interested him. She, with her ridiculous complementary colours and her upbeat attitude, had truly caught Sasuke's interest in a way that no other person had.

And so Sasuke decided that, after half an hour of hiding in the bathroom, it was time to come out. Naruto and the guys did not even notice his absence as they were too busy with their video games. He decided to leave the party unannounced, knowing that tomorrow his best friend would scold him for not wanting to socialize with guests.

He walked home, repeating over and over the brief conversation he had with Sakura. Sasuke wondered how he could remember everything about it; the way her voice sounded; the way her mood changed from scared to embarrassed to awkward to welcoming and warm. He wondered if he would ever have the opportunity to interact with her like that again.

Sasuke decided to add a footnote to this ridiculous party. That sudden and short encounter with Sakura had taken away some of its ridiculousness.

If his mother asked him if something interesting had happened, he would not tell her about Haruno Sakura, but he would definitely store their conversation and revisit it later.

* * *

 **Now**

Sakura knew that her life was better off without Sasuke.

That was something that she told herself a year after it happened. She knew that if he had stayed or if they still had any sort of communication, she would not be where she was and she would not have the same opportunities.

So yes, whenever she was too caught up in her thoughts, she'd tell herself that her life had only gotten better after Sasuke left. There was no one to rip her heart apart into little pieces, leaving her to her own devices in trying to mend it.

Sakura looked out the window of her university's library, taking in the rare sight of a clear blue sky during this spring season. She had recently turned 23 and was living some of the best years of her life. Her birthday party had been fun, dynamic, filled with the friend who had helped her become the young woman she always wanted to be when she was younger.

She had moved on, evidently. She had found herself a supportive boyfriend, a complete opposite to Sasuke, someone who encouraged her to continue with her goals and who did not leave her. It had taken her years to open up to accept love again, knowing that she gave it away too easily. She'd learned that her love was valuable and that it should not be shared with people who did not appreciate it.

Sakura had developed excellent skills in hiding and suppressing her dark thoughts and feelings. Even to her closest friends at school, she always seemed to have her head on her shoulders. She had a promising career, access to great opportunities, always searching for new possibilities in making her life a fulfilling one. She had everything she wanted and needed: her family, her friends, her intelligence, and her determination.

Yet thoughts of Sasuke came back to her, oftentimes catching her unaware. At first, Sakura always thought about her choices and how they would've affected Sasuke. Then, her imagination had begun to ask her how Sasuke would react to something, the type of advice he'd give her, how the little things in her life reminded her of him.

Now, Sakura stopped her mind when it began to remember dark hair and dark eyes because she had told herself that thinking about his wasn't going to change anything.

She had moved on, mentally and emotionally. But in days like these, when she was sitting on her own at the library studying for a final exam, the bitter aftertaste of coffee in her mouth, she allowed her mind to drift back to certain moments she shared with Sasuke.

But if there was one thing she was certain of, it was that if they ever saw each other again, Sakura would turn and walk in the opposite direction.

* * *

 _What? A_ _nother story? Is she gonna stick to this one?_

 _Weeeeell, I am hoping to update at least once a week, which gives me about three weeks to come up with more material. I have a_ rought _outline of this story, but I'd like to get some feedback on this first chapter before I continue. This idea of a coming of age story has been dancing in my mind for a while, and I've always wanted to touch upon the more "human" aspects of these characters to see where it takes me._

 _You could say that the "Then" and "Now" timelines are turning into a signature writing style for me. This story finally gives me the opportunity to build towards something while also hinting at the final result if_ y'know _what I'm sayin'. The "Then" timeline is how they met, while the "Now" timeline is where they currently are in their lives._

 _If you have any questions about this, leave a review or PM me! I've missed this very much and I finally have TIME to write woohoo!_

 _And finally, **HAPPY SASUSAKU MONTH 2k17**! (lowkey decided to post this chapter in July because of it lol)_

 _Sincerely,_

 _MSM_


	2. Chapter 2

**Now**

Sakura was happy with her life.

In fact, she had never been as happy as she was now. She finally turned 23, had only one year left of studies in medicine, had travelled to many different places, had friends from many different places, and her life was only looking up from now.

Living in Kumo, and attending the University of Kumo, had given her the best opportunities to study and enjoy her student experience to the fullest.

Her first year living away from Konoha had been frightening at first. She was far away from the comfort of her parents' home, her close friends, and the city she knew. But her aunt Tsunade had taken her in after finding out about her situation without hesitation. Over the years, she had become a sort of mentor to Sakura in times of doubt and one of her biggest support.

It was at her aunt's house that she had met Hinata. Aunt Tsunade, with all of her special connections among people in Konoha, had been approached by Hinata's father to take her in during her studies at UofK. During that first year, Sakura and Hinata had shared everything, from bedrooms to clothes, from new experiences to old stories, and over time they became so close that Tsunade had joked that she forgot where one girl ended and the other one began.

Sakura was grateful for all the people she had met in Kumo, both locals and internationals. She was grateful to have a piece of home with her aunt Tsunade and Hinata. She was grateful that, from her own high school, Chouji had also decided to come to UofK because of their Hospitality and Tourism program. She was grateful that when she was 19 she had met her boyfriend, who accepted her as she was.

But at the same time, Sakura felt homesick. She had not gone back to Konoha since she moved to Kumo for school. In the summer months, her parents would come visit her and spend time with her if she was not busy taking additional prep courses in her program. Being a medical student was extremely demanding, and she was aware that her parents' situation had not changed much since she left Konoha. All in all, it made more sense for them to visit her.

She still missed her friends, though. She missed Karin, Tenten, Ino. They communicated regularly, and Karin and Tenten had once surprised her in Kumo in an impromptu visit because they knew that Sakura was not handling her stress well. Ino hadn't been able to come, being a young mother and all. Karin and Tenten stayed with her for a week to cheer her up, and it helped while they were there. But when they had left, Sakura had gone back to the same dark place.

Back then, when they were all 19 and separated for the first time, Sakura had her first experience seeing how the lives of others and her own life continued in spite of being apart. It somehow affected her more than she had anticipated, and aunt Tsunade, a doctor herself, had taken her to a counselor out of fear that Sakura would fall into depression.

"It's pretty common with kids who move to a different city and country on their own," Tsunade had explained back then. "And on top of that, you just went through something pretty impactful with your parents. It just caught up to you, Sakura. There's nothing wrong with the way you're feeling."

After the sessions with the counselor, Sakura had learned how to grow and become stronger. She had learned that yes, life continued for everybody and that she should make the best she can out of her own even without the people she loved. That was when she tried her hardest to get rid of Sasuke's presence in her mind and her heart. She had learned that she had to move on because new and better things would come her way if she opened her arms to them.

It was during that process that she began to feel grateful for everyone in her life. She appreciated Hinata more, she thanked Tsunade every day, she would keep in touch with her old coworkers, she had lunch with Chouji and realized that she could still have a little piece of Konoha with her in Kumo, she told her boyfriend that she loved him.

The pain about Sasuke and about everything she left behind in Konoha became dormant. It was still there, just like her mind's ability to swing her back into a depressive state, but she learned how to handle it better.

She was 23 and she had learned a lot more about life living in Kumo than she would've ever had while living in Konoha.

And now Sakura was excited. She was excited because she was going to see a friend she hadn't seen since she left Konoha. She was looking forward to showing him that yes, she was doing amazingly well both mentally and emotionally.

* * *

 **Then**

Two years, she counted.

It's been two years.

Ever since Sakura first talked to Sasuke at Naruto's party, she has been gradually paying more attention to him. Just as she had predicted during their first conversation, they had ended up in the same class during their first year in high school.

The instances that made her notice him more were not at school, but rather after school on her way home. She would notice how they both walked in the same direction, how they would take the same twists and turns around Konoha, and how they would both end up in front of the same building. At first, Sakura was surprised that she had never seen Sasuke take the same route to and from school as her when they were in junior high, but concluded that it was probably because they were in different classes and she had never wanted to pay too much attention to him.

He had seemed moody back then. Moody, bitter, yet cool in a way that none of the other boys acted. She had felt intimidated from the moment she first laid eyes on Sasuke, and instead of taking the same route as Karin and Ino of trying to talk to him, she had decided to remain on the sidelines and look the other way. Back then, she thought if she started to pay attention to Sasuke she would slowly gravitate towards him until it was impossible to separate her thoughts from him.

And so, she became indifferent to his presence until Naruto's party, in which they both found themselves in the guest bathroom and she attempted to have a civil conversation with him. Even in that moment she could feel slowly being pulled towards him by an unknown force, an unknown voice that told her to keep an eye on him at all times.

Now that he had her full attention at every moment, and she began to notice that they lived in the same building, she began to draw closer to him.

"Hey! I didn't know that you lived here too," Sakura commented one time. It had been a nice day in the middle of their first high school year. She had been observing him walk home for a couple of months now, making sure that she wasn't assuming things.

Sasuke had turned to look at her with the same disinterested expression that she often associated with him.

"I'm on the fourth floor," she added, having learned that Sasuke wasn't a person of many words.

"Second."

The next day, she was surprised to find him at the entrance of their building. Sasuke greeted her with short words and began to walk beside her until they reached the school.

And, without a consensus, that became their pattern. While they walked together, Sakura would talk about her friends, school work, or her extracurricular activities while Sasuke listened. Sometimes Sasuke would make a comment or two but he never used more than the necessary words to explain himself. She did not mind his silence, finding it rather peaceful to have company on her way to and from school. It would only happen when they both started and finished classes at the same time, and when Sakura did not have after school projects.

It got her wondering. She was getting to know Sasuke, that was for sure. But a part of her knew that the things left unsaid spoke louder than all the actions and polite gestures he made. It was almost like knowing but not knowing a person.

And so, their polite acquaintance continued throughout all of their first and second years of high school. Autumn turned to Winter, Winter turned to Spring, and Sakura went from 15 to 16. She could tell that she had grown in more than one way, and so had Sasuke. Her hair had gotten longer, her uniform tighter in certain places. He had grown taller, his shoulders broadened, his strides got longer than Sakura's because her legs were significantly shorter. They kept on walking together, enjoying the company and the conversations when they happened.

Slowly, he began to talk more. With few words, he would initiate a conversation that would get Sakura talking for the rest of their walks. Once, she fantasized that he liked hearing her voice and that was why he would always let her ramble on and on. She immediately stopped thinking about that, giving herself the excuse that he was a good listener, and that was all.

By then, it had been two years of this pattern. Two years of them finding a small window of time during the day in which they did not have to talk to anybody else and could enjoy each others' company.

Those times were Sakura's favourite.

 **Now**

"Sakura!" She could recognize that animated voice in any crowded and loud rooms.

Sakura's lips formed into a smile as she spotted the blond head and blue eyes she hadn't seen since she left Konoha. Naruto was as bright as always, with his tanned skin, the peculiar scars on his cheeks, and his welcoming embraces. She made her way to the table where Naruto was sitting, his pint of beer largely forgotten due to the arrival of more people.

"It's been forever," she said as she hugged him back, feeling a little closer to home after spending so many years away from Konoha. "I never thought I'd see you here."

"Well, y'know how it goes with me. I like adventure, and studying is _so_ boring."

Sakura still remembered how Naruto never paid attention in class, how he joked that he always got half the grade that she got in exams and that studying was never his forte as he learned better outside of the classroom. It didn't surprise her to see that he was going to choose the traveling route, knowing about his studying preferences.

"Well, welcome to Kumo!" she said after asking the waitress for a pint of her own. "By the way, this is my friend Hinata. She's also from Konoha."

Up until that moment, Sakura had noticed that her roommate had remained quiet and rather distant from them. Looking at Hinata's face, Sakura could see that her friend was trying to hide her blush as much as she could. She had to hide her own smile, saving this memory for later when she could tease Hinata about her instant crush on Naruto.

"Another from Konoha? You didn't go to our school, did you?"

It took Hinata a couple of seconds to realize that she was being asked a question, and another moment to find her words to answer. "Ah, yes, I –uh, I went to an all-girls private school in the outskirts of the city."

Sakura was grateful that the rock music playing in the background wasn't as loud as usual in the bar. Otherwise, Hinata's voice would've been lost in the noise.

"I would've remembered you," Naruto casually commented, and Sakura didn't have to see Hinata's face to know that she was slowly turning into a bright shade of pink. Without much of an explanation, Hinata got up from her seat and headed over the washroom.

It was all too amusing to Sakura, to see her friend getting flustered like this because of Naruto. She would've never imagined it.

Seeing Naruto's perplexed expression, she quipped, "Hinata's just really shy. You gotta give her some space."

"Glad to know I didn't offend her or anything!"

Sakura's pint had arrived and she took a sip. "When I first started dating my boyfriend, she used to hide in her room because she didn't know how to interact with him. Over time she got a lot better. But," she raised an eyebrow teasingly, "I think you might've broken my friend, Naruto. I've never seen her like this." She finished her last words with a laugh, gradually feeling like she was 16 once again and she and Naruto were hanging out at school with all their other friends.

"Yeah, well," he just shrugged his shoulders jokingly, but Sakura knew her friend better. She knew that Naruto was the least cocky guy she knew. "Wait," his expression suddenly changed, "your boyfriend?"

Sakura was caught off guard by the tone of his voice. Naruto's voice sounded both confused and almost accusatory. She narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out if she did hear him right. "Yes, my boyfriend. His name is C. We've been together for three years."

It felt like the room temperature had fallen along with some of the brightness in Naruto's blue eyes. Sakura felt a knot in her throat, the dread of the topic she'd been trying to avoid for more than five years settling in. Years might've passed since she last saw Naruto, but she knew that it was rare to be sitting beside him in complete silence.

She thought that things hadn't changed between them. Naruto was always welcoming and supportive in spite of his best friend's actions. He was there when it happened. He was one of the few who understood the pain that Sakura went through because he experienced it himself as well. It was what strengthened their friendship on the first year after Sasuke's departure. It was what made her respect Naruto in spite of their different attitudes towards life, and it made her think that things between them will always remain friendly and cordial because they understood each other really well.

But now Sakura wasn't so sure about those feelings. Her jaw tightened and the knot in her throat grew to the point where she almost forgot how to breathe. But much worse, she began to fear that the friendship between her and Naruto wasn't as strong as she thought it was.

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend." The tone of her voice threw her off once again, and the dread was slowly being replaced with anger.

It didn't sound like Naruto was making a comment about her love life. It sounded like Naruto was accusing her of _why do you have a boyfriend? what happened to you waiting for Sasuke? who are you, even, if you can't stick to your promises? what you and Sasuke had, was that even real?_

She had to fight back her urge to find answers to all the accusatory questions that formed into her mind. Naruto was watching her expectantly, his reproachful yet concerned expression still intact.

"I thought—"

"Naruto, it's been years," she settled for those words and didn't say anything more. "Life changed for me."

Sakura was grateful that Hinata had gone to the washroom and seemed to stay there.

She should've known. She should've expected that Naruto was going to ask her about Sasuke because he somehow _knew_ that, deep down, she was still hurt. And it bothered her so much that getting up from her seat to retreat back to the life she had built herself in Kumo was the best and safest option. But Sakura held back her need to immediately leave the bar. She didn't want to worry Naruto, not after being apart for so many years.

"No, it makes sense, you're right," he regained his composure. "Cheers to that!"

Their pints clinked and Sakura drank almost half of her beer. She needed to keep her mind distracted from dancing into a threatening territory. Naruto had been one of the biggest advocates between her and Sasuke, and it felt almost surreal to talk about and pretend to celebrate her relationship to another guy with him.

She had to stay sitting here for a couple more minutes, but her mind was already made up and she was preparing to leave. Sakura went on with her conversation, as usual, the laugh that came as a reaction to Naruto's stories becoming more and more natural as she practiced it. Neither of them mentioned anything that could remotely relate to Sasuke, much to her advantage. Deep down, although she felt guilty, she really wanted to leave the bar and go back to the comfort and shelter of her room.

When she got up from her seat, Naruto followed suit.

"Where you going?" Naruto asked surprised.

"I'm going home," she excused herself. "I feel really tired, and I have to wake up early tomorrow for class," she lied.

"But tomorrow's a Saturday!"

"Tell Hinata that I had to go," Sakura grabbed a few bills from her wallet and left them on the table, not looking at Naruto. "Chouji should be on his way here now. See you later, Naruto. I'm really happy I got to see you."

That last part was true. She was really happy to finally see an old face, another piece of home.

Sakura left without looking back because, in spite of all her efforts to learn how to handle things and how to heal, her flight instinct still took hold of her actions. Sakura knew that the way she cut off her conversation with Naruto was wrong and impolite. She shouldn't have done that with him. They've known each other for many years and cutting their reunion short like this wasn't a part of her plans for tonight. She didn't want to think about how Naruto must be feeling right now, her anger being replaced with the same numb feeling that appeared whenever she wanted to forget something.

Sakura had to leave, though. The last thing she wanted to talk about was Sasuke. And, right now, the last person she wanted to talk about Sasuke with was his best friend.

Oh, how times have changed.

* * *

 _I thought I should upload the second chapter now ^_^ I want Friday to be my update date._

 _Thank you to the people who've taken their time to leave a review,_ favourite _, and alert this story. It means a lot to me. I really do miss writing and I need this to keep me grounded. If you have any questions, you can always PM me or find me on tumblr as misscommunicated n_n_

 _See you next Friday!_

 _Sincerely,_

 _MSM_


	3. Chapter 3

**Then**

They never agreed to become friends, so when the summertime came Sakura never expected them to spend time together. She knew that their walks to school were just that: just walks, just time allocated to keep each other company to and from school, with little chats and not more than the polite companionship between two residents of the same building.

So when summer started and the walks ended, Sakura tried to ignore the longing feeling that came with the change of pace of her days. For the past two summers, the ones between first and second and third year, she had suppressed the anxious feeling that came with not seeing Sasuke for their walks. She'd sometimes leave her building with an excuse in mind, but with the hopes of catching a glimpse of her classmate. Much to her dismay, Sasuke seemed to disappear during the summer months and reappear when school started. She'd feel that a weight was lifted off her shoulders when the first day of classes began and he was waiting for her at the entrance of their building.

It was during the months preceding her third year of high school, that she started working at Akatsuki Cafe. University would never pay for itself, much less if she was looking at options outside of Konoha. Her parents promised to help her pay for half of it, so long as she worked for the other half. Her family was not rich. Sakura applied to countless places around town and was grateful for the opportunity to land a job at the decade-old, known-by-word-of-mouth Akatsuki Cafe.

It was also during this time and in this place that she met some of the coolest people to have ever walked into her life.

From the moment that she started working as a barista, Sakura enjoyed every day at work. She'd start in the morning and finish really late at night, but she didn't care. The downtime hours at work made up for the long shifts, and the company certainly made her feel like she was hanging out with friends and not slaving her summer away inside a coffee shop.

The owners, Nagato and Yahiko, were some of the most alternative people that Sakura had ever met. They were laid back and enjoyed their work, holding polite conversations with customers to create a friendly environment for both clients and workers. Whenever Ino and Karin came to visit her, they would nonchalantly flirt with them in spite of the noticeable age difference. Her friends did not mind the compliments that came their way every time they went to Akatsuki Cafe to see Sakura. In fact, she had begun to wonder if her friends were using her as an excuse to stop by as often as they did.

Konan was the coolest girl ever, too, and she had taken the responsibility of adopting Sakura as her younger work sister. Sakura was beyond grateful to find an older female figure who, aside from liking the same things, shared the characteristic of an interesting shade of hair colour. The piercings on Konan's face, much like Nagato's, were always of interest to Sakura and she wondered if she would be brave enough to get one like theirs in the future. Sometimes, Konan would come to pick her up at home before their shift started and to take her out on rides around Konoha. Sometimes, they would hang out on their days off doing girly things and talking about things that Sakura did not feel like sharing with Ino because she wanted a more mature perspective.

Working at Akatsuki Cafe, making lattes, espressos, frappes, mastering the art of putting whipped cream on top of cold drinks and of recreating their logo on every cup of hot coffee took up most of her summer. Sakura did not complain, for she loved to catch glimpses of her reflection in mirrors and windows whenever she was wearing the black apron that was covered with a pattern of red clouds.

Saving up her own money for university made her feel more confident, more independent. Having the privilege of loving her first job wasn't something that everyone got to experience, and she was infinitely thankful for the guidance that her older coworkers gave her in life. Working long hours, day in and day out, certainly helped her handle that tugging feeling whenever she caught herself thinking about and _missing_ her walks with Sasuke.

And so her summer was spent working long shifts in a small coffee shop, surrounded by awesome people.

That was, until a week before her second last year of high school was supposed to start, the person that she least expected walked through the entrance.

The little bell that hung on the top right corner of the Cafe's door rang as three people walked in.

Sakura was ready to greet them with the same welcoming smile she had grown accustomed to giving clients when they came in Akatsuki Cafe, but caught herself frozen in her place as she saw that Sasuke was standing on the opposite side of the counter.

Her heart skipped a beat and then raced to pulse ten times faster than normal. Sakura felt her face heat up before she could control it, staring at Sasuke's dark almond eyes as they met hers. She might have been imagining in that moment, but every time that she revisited this scene she always remembered Sasuke sporting the same surprised expression as hers.

"Hey, Sakura!" Naruto's voice broke her out of her trance. That was when she recognized that Sasuke had not come in on his own. The blond hung his arm around Sasuke's shoulder, who quickly shoved it aside, displeased with the invasion of space. "Fancy seein' you here. I had no idea that you worked here."

"I told you at the beginning of the summer that she works here," Karin explained to her cousin, who immediately turned his head towards her and Sakura could not see his expression. But she saw how Karin's eyebrows rose and she rolled her eyes in defeat.

It was in that moment that Sakura broke eye contact with Sasuke found that she could move her limbs again. "I —yes! Yes, since the beginning of summer," she repeated. "What can I get you?"

She tried not to acknowledge how Sasuke was still looking at her. Tried not to let her thoughts run wild.

After Karin, Naruto, and Sasuke got their orders, she decided to retreat to the back of the Cafe to catch her breath. Her heart was still thundering in her chest and she couldn't figure out why.

Sakura noticed that she wasn't alone when she glanced at Konan sitting in front of the lunch table having a snack. She reacted quickly and did the first thing that came into her mind. Sakura raised her arms, linking one hand with her opposite wrist as she stretched from side to side. "Oh, man! I feel so energized after –after that run!"

Konan raised a single eyebrow in curiosity and caught her right in her fake excuse. "Were you really running?"

"Oh yeah!" Sakura pretended to be breathing a lot heavier now as if she was, in fact, tired from her fake exercise session. "In fact, I think I'm gonna sit down for a bit. How about you're at the front for, um, half an hour and then I come back?"

She was internally thankful that Konan did not follow up her last question. The young woman shrugged her shoulders and got up from her chair. "Knock yourself out, girl."

Sakura sighed in the relief as her friend was about to walk to the front of the Cafe. Konan added, "But when I need to go out for a run, you promise to cover for me?"

"Of course! That's what friends and coworkers are for," Sakura exclaimed with a tone that was way too excited to sound legitimate.

She caught the glint of light that Konan's chin piercing gave as she turned to hide her sly smirk. Then, Sakura immediately hid her forehead in her hands. Exercise, really? Couldn't she come up with a better lie!?

More importantly, why was she suddenly remembering all the little conversations she and Sasuke had last year while they walked to and from school? And why was her heart still thundering inside her chest?

* * *

 **Now**

Sasuke's phone rang. Once he saw the name on his screen, he let it ring for a couple more seconds before he picked up.

"Took you a while to pick up, asshole. Trying to make me wait again?" the voice on the other side complained.

Sasuke chuckled. "I am now regretting giving you my new phone number."

"You say that now, but you don't mean it!"

There was something familiar and comforting about hearing that voice. It was one that had kept him grounded since his childhood, one that he would always be grateful for knowing in spite of how insufferable it was at times.

"Maybe I need to change my number again," Sasuke continued, and his comment was met with a string of curse words on the other side of the line. He waited until there was silence to talk again. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I just really wanted to know how you were doing."

"Naruto—"

"Yeah, yeah, 'I'm Sasuke and I'm a busy loser who has no time for his only friend and likes to live with a stick up his ass.' Whatever. It's not like you'd be interested in all the shit I've been up to since I started backpacking, or where I am, or who I've met."

"You're right, I'm not really interested. I've already been to all the places you're visiting and I am kind of busy at the moment."

Sasuke grabbed the handle of his carry-on with one hand while the other held on to his phone. He looked around the train station for the platform his train was supposed to be on.

"Damn, Sasuke! I know you're kidding, but can you at least be funny? Or caring?"

"I will pretend I did not hear that."

Naruto grumbled on the other side of the line, his tone almost threatening of hanging up in that moment. "Whatever. What're you up to, anyway? I'm checking out this park that is pretty awesome, and I think I'm gonna nap under a tree since I didn't sleep last night."

"I'm about to board the train."

"That's right! I forgot about that. You know, it kind of sucks finding out about you through vague email responses."

"You know why I wanted to keep it that way," Sasuke reasoned. "Besides, you somehow got a hold of my phone number and can't stop calling or messaging me."

Naruto let out a laugh that Sasuke could only describe as obnoxious. "Yeah, so what?"

The grip on his phone tightened. Sasuke was well aware that although he wasn't much of a talker, Naruto was one of the few exceptions. He was secretly grateful that his best friend liked to call and communicate as much as possible.

"Hey, Sasuke."

"Hm?"

If Sasuke had not been busy looking for his platform, he would've paid more attention to the silence on Naruto's side of the phone call. It wasn't that important, anyway, seeing that Naruto could never remain quiet for very long.

"Have fun at your thing." It was almost as if Naruto was finding the right words to say. "And see you soon."

"Talk to you later."

Sasuke hung up his phone when he spotted his platform. This was business as usual for him. Being the young one of the family, he got to be the face that their family wanted to show in public. It only made sense that Sasuke ended up traveling at least once a month, jumping from city to city by either train or plane.

It wasn't until he settled on his assigned seat that he wondered as to why Naruto would wish him well in this trip. His best friend never did, and most of the time he didn't bother following Sasuke's busy work and travel schedule. There were very few times that Naruto remained quiet, and most of them dealt with sensitive issues that Sasuke preferred not to think about. But still, if Sasuke had noticed that this silent pause lasted longer than they usually did, he would've asked Naruto what he actually wanted to talk about.

He heard the rumbling of the engines, bringing the train to life. His phone rang again right after the train left the station. This was a business call, and he was distracted from thinking about his best friend's unusual behaviour.

* * *

 **Then**

He didn't know why he was here again.

Sasuke shoved his hands in his pockets after he entered Akatsuki Cafe, already feeling familiar with its alternative artistic decor and laid back mood. He was here just yesterday with Naruto and Karin after they both insisted on getting something to drink to cope with the hot weather. He would've been fine drinking water. After all, he wasn't a fan of sweet drinks and Naruto after drinking anything that made him more hyperactive than usual.

But when he noticed that the girl standing on the opposite side of the counter was no one but Sakura, his mind quickly revisited all the times he spent with her before and after school, walking and talking. He remembered their first conversation, the first time his interest in her peaked.

In spite of living in the same building and having friends in common, they had not seen each other at all during the summer. Partly, it was because she had been working, something that he figured out when he first saw her at Akatsuki Cafe. Partly, it was because he did not want to leave his room or spend time with people who weren't his mother or the ever so insisting Naruto.

He was glad that Karin had finally backed off. She must have realized that there was no point in attempting to hold a conversation with him. After all, he'd become the all-time champion in avoiding talking, problems, and building relationships with other people. Truly, if Naruto's mom and his mom weren't best friends, he would have ditched the knucklehead a _long_ time ago. Naruto's unfortunately become an essential part in Sasuke's life, the only person who could keep him grounded when nothing else made sense. Sasuke was silently thankful for that, but at the same time, he knew that forming a bond like that with someone else was a waste of time.

Somehow, he'd come to realize that Sakura was becoming an exception to his rule of not building bonds. There was something about her that intrigued him, that drew him in during the school year. He had found the perfect excuse to explore this newfound curiosity by taking up her offer to become walk buddies. But when summer came around he knew that he had to put a stop —or at least a pause— to his time spent with Sakura.

So when he finally saw her after weeks of no interaction, he had to suppress the way his heart almost jumped out of his chest. And he was glad that she had gone to the back of the Cafe where he couldn't see her because he wasn't sure he could've been able to be in the same space as her after trying so hard to not think about her all summer.

But he found himself in Akatsuki again. This time, the employee who attended him was a guy with long blond hair and a careless way of doing things that Sasuke thought that he'd mess up his simple order of black coffee.

Sasuke sat down in one of the worn out booths, the same one he had been on the day before with the Uzumaki cousins. He took small sips of his coffee, not paying attention to the customers who came in and out of the Cafe or the indie music that played in the background.

Deep within, he did not want to step into this place ever again. It brought back memories he tried to forget, to push to the back of his mind. But now, they came back, fresh as if they had just happened. He would remember the smile, the same look he always got growing up, the way he'd always look up to that face because he was too short, the way—

"Hey, Sasuke."

He jerked his head sideways and found Sakura standing in front of him, sporting the same black and red apron he'd become familiar with all those years ago, with her hair pulled back in a short pony tail, and with a round platter resting in front of her.

Sasuke remained silent, the mix of memories and frozen feelings stirring up in his insides as he tried to maintain a blank expression.

Sakura shuffled her feet uncomfortably. "How's your coffee?" She asked. He was reminded of the short conversations they'd have, her need to say things every once in a while because silence wasn't her best friend like it was his.

"It's good," he finally answered. Sasuke watched as his classmate took a peak to the entrance and then to the counter before she sat down in front of him.

Sakura offered him a sincere, friendly smile. The one he'd grown used to seeing on her face every morning and at the end of the day. He remembered how watching her eyes light up for a split of a second was the highlight of his day during school.

"I'm glad you enjoy it," Sakura added. "Excited for the new school year?"

When was he ever excited?

"I guess so."

"We get to pick our electives this year. I think that's exciting," Sakura ended her sentence with a faint laugh, amused at something that Sasuke could not identify. He was aware that he didn't want to know as long as he got to hear her chuckle like that again.

Sakura did not mention how they should resume their walks to school. In fact, she just spent the rest of her short break telling him about her experiences working at Akatsuki Cafe and about her cool new coworkers. Sasuke remained silent, already knowing who she was talking about by the brief descriptions she was giving him of the people working at the Cafe. He'd become familiar with their names a long time ago, back when he had a different reality, back when—

"If we have the same electives, we could share notes!"

Sasuke did not mind that idea. In fact, he could use some help now that they were nearing the end of their high school career. A part of him would be satisfied, knowing that he'd get to spend more time trying to decipher Sakura.

* * *

 **Now**

Sakura looked good in green. She found out that the colour, no matter the shade or intensity, always looked good in her. She stared at her new green dress in anticipation, knowing that tonight she was finally ready to wear it and that she had an excuse to wear it.

It had all started when Chouji told them that his banquet hall was hosting what he defined as 'a really fancy dinner with rich people who are giving a lot of money to UofK. He then explained that 'the rich people want poor students to attend to show that they are helping them out' and at the mention that they would get free dinner, Sakura and her friends jumped on the opportunity and volunteered to play the role of the students in distress who needed rich people's money to survive.

Really, it was all for the free food and the chance to wear something that wasn't sweatpants and a pullover. University students, much less medicine students, rarely got the chance to dress to impress. And no student would ever say no to free food.

And she looked good with her arm wrapped in C's. Her boyfriend was wearing a black suit that complemented and completed the entire fantasy. They looked like one of those rich young couples who attended social events quite often and nothing like the two students they actually were.

As she walked into the banquet hall, one arm linked to C and another to Hinata, she had to hold back her jaw from dropping at the luxury that was in front of her. This fantasy kept being fulfilled by the event's venue. The hanging crystal chandeliers, the white silky table cloths that covered the round tables where they were sitting, and the soft string quartet playing in the background made Sakura imagine that she, for once, was living a lavish life.

Sakura paid attention to the long table that was set up at one end of the banquet hall with a white projector screen in the background. She deduced that that was where all the rich donors were sitting, noticing that there were names of different private companies and organizations in front of every chair. If she had been more careful and if she had actually approached that front table, she would've known that this evening was going to turn into something completely unexpected.

Their reserved table was located at the back of the venue, and so they made their way there. Other guests (a combination of faculty members, administration, and distinguished guests) gradually filled in the place. Meanwhile, waiters and waitresses hovered around the venue offering champagne and appetizers as all the guests found their seats or socialized.

For Sakura, it was slowly becoming a struggle to blend in with the rest of the party as she, C, Hinata, and Chouji's girlfriend Karui were guessing the other guests' incomes and their donations to UofK.

"I don't know, babe," C argued against her. "He looks like he owns a yacht, and the guy he's talking to doesn't seem like a yacht kind of guy."

"Maybe he has a private jet?" Sakura offered, and Hinata nodded in agreement.

"That, and at least two mistresses," Hinata added. They all tried to hold their laughter as a significantly younger woman approached the two men they were talking about.

They continued their guessing game until the opening speaker took the podium. Sakura followed along by clapping and pretending to pay attention to the speaker.

"I welcome you all to our institution's annual donors' gala," he began, adjusting his tie, "First and foremost, we must thank our donors for providing us with the necessary funds to continue with our research in all the disciplines that UofK offers, as well as the scholarships that have been created as a result of the generosity of our alumni." He extended his hand towards the long table at the front.

The audience gave another round of applause in response. Sakura noticed that there was an empty chair at the long table and did not think much of it.

"Hm, this guy probably thinks that he's too busy to attend a free dinner," C commented, also looking at the empty chair.

Sakura turned to him. "What makes you think it's a guy? It could very well be a woman, you know."

C gently pinched her chin like he always did when she was trying to prove a point and he didn't see the purpose of her argument. Some might find it patronizing, but Sakura thought it was cute. "It's always a guy."

She rolled her eyes playfully and once again paid attention to the opening speaker.

"If we could all please stand up while I name our donors," he said and the guests rose from their seats. Then, he started listing the names of the companies and their representatives. After each mention, the audience clapped.

From the corner of her eye, Sakura saw the front door open and close briefly. She did not think much of it, guessing that the black figure she saw move must have been one of the banquet hall waiters. Her eyes were still looking at the last person that the opening speaker had mentioned.

That was until she heard a name and froze entirely. Hearing those familiar syllables on the speakers sent a shiver down her spine that paralyzed her movements. Sakura saw the black figure that had recently entered the banquet hall stand at the front. She could recognize that face anywhere, as much as she tried to forget it. And it appeared that her unintentional staring had caught this person's attention, for he also started looking back at her.

Out of all the possibilities, all the scenarios, the what-ifs, among the crowd of attendants and special guests, among the glitter and glamour of this specific night, their eyes met. And Sakura forgot how to breathe.

* * *

 _Thank you to the people who've reviewed and favoured this story! I know it's not as popular as my other works, but I am really happy to be writing this :)_

 _Also, the fic's title comes from the song "Self-control" by Frank Ocean._

 _See you next week!_

 _MSM_


	4. Chapter 4

**Now**

Falling in love with Sasuke did not happen in one sudden moment. Sakura could not remember a single time in which she realized that she had given her heart to him. It had been a gradual process, something that occurred little by little over time, like the changing of the seasons. It had grown from a small crush to mutual respect to a devotion that had made Sakura feel both protected and willing to protect. As far as she could remember, Sakura knew that by 17 she was already in love with Sasuke even if the concept of romantic love itself was still abstract and rather unknown in her life.

With that regard, falling in love with Sasuke had been easy. It had become a part of her, almost as breathing. She was not always aware that she was doing it, but it happened nonetheless.

Falling out of love, though, that had been a different story. Sakura had blocked many memories from that time, knowing that visiting them would only bring pain and a strong sense of abandonment. Forgetting about Sasuke took less time than falling in love with him, but the process itself had been excruciating and it had felt eternal. During that time, Sakura had to remind herself that it was important to eat and to socialize with other people. She had dug herself out of that hole because she understood that her life could not be mandated by a boy's presence or absence. She had grown as an individual, had become a better student, daughter, and friend. She had smiled at all the positive things in order to remind herself that the heartbreak she was feeling was only temporary.

But it did not make it any less difficult for her heart. Before finishing high school, before moving to Kumo, Sakura had oftentimes woken up with a heavy weight on her chest and a lump in her throat. She had to move on with her day, patiently waiting until the heartbreak only got smaller and smaller.

Eventually, the pain had left her body. Sakura had realized that she was over Sasuke the moment that she woke up without the heavy feeling and the constricted throat. She'd realized that she could forget about him when she moved on with her day and felt lighter than she had in a year. Her smiles began to be sincere again. Her wishes to go out with friends and to try new foods were real and not an attempt to keep her mind distracted.

Sakura thought that she would never have to think about that ugly pain again. She thought that Sasuke was part of her past and that her present involved better people. She thought that, even if they were to see each other at some point in the future, the heaviness would not return.

But as she saw him standing there, only mere meters away from her table, Sakura could swear that some sort of lock inside her had been broken because all of her emotions flooded in at once.

"And, as a representative from Indra Corp, we have Uchiha Sasuke," the announcer said over the microphone.

Sakura could tell that people were clapping in the banquet hall. She could see hands moving from her periphery, yet the sound of applause never reached her ears. Her eyes were locked into one place, into one standing figure, and she suddenly felt so overwhelmed and so frozen at the same time that she thought she would never be able to function normally again.

The only thing she fully noticed was when Sasuke lowered his hand from greeting the audience and adjusted his suit jacket. She then noticed how his eyes somehow found hers and nothing else made sense anymore. She saw how Sasuke's jaw tensed, she saw how his eyes locked in with hers for seconds that felt like a lifetime until they looked away.

Sakura forgot how to sit. She forgot how to breathe. The drumming noise of her heartbeat was blocking every other sound. She forgot where she was.

She felt someone touch her arm and she was snapped out of her state. Sakura looked to the side, once again becoming conscious of her surroundings. She became aware that everyone else had taken their seats and she was the only one standing. Sakura looked at her arm and found C's gentle hand, indicating her that she should also sit down.

The rest of the opening speech went in a blur. Sakura avoided looking at the main table, thinking that if she didn't look that way Sasuke would not be real and that she would wake up from this nightmare.

But the hurting sensation of her teeth digging into her lower lip indicated the opposite. This wasn't a nightmare. This was reality.

And the reality was that Sasuke was in the same room as her.

"He definitely looks too young to be one of the execs from that company," C continued on with the game they had begun at the beginning of the gala. "So I say that he's the arrogant son of the owner and lives off of daddy's money."

 _That's not true_ , Sakura wanted to shoot back, but it wasn't the right place or the right time to reveal that she knew Sasuke on a personal level. She wanted to beat herself mentally, thinking that defending Sasuke out of all people was her responsibility after everything he's done to her.

And so, she huffed and smiled at her boyfriend. "Yeah, he looks like the type."

But her mind was already wheeling, hoping that this night was over in a blink.

When their main plates arrived, Sakura could not taste the food in her palate. Her nerves were going haywire and she was trying her best to keep herself calm and composed in front of her friends. She still took some bites, making empty comments of _ah, yes, the salmon is really good_ and _I wonder how much they spent on this wine bottle and if the other guests got a more expensive one_.

Her hands, at least, were not shaking. Otherwise, Hinata would've noticed that there was something off about her. The string quartet playing in the background mixed in with the chatter of all the guests, the clinking of cutlery, the wine being poured in glasses, and the dragging of chairs against the wooden floor.

Sakura could barely register her movements before she got up from her own chair. "I need to use the bathroom," she announced.

"I'll go with you," Karui began, gathering her purse.

"No! I mean –it's alright. You don't have to," Sakura tried to recompose herself. "Unless you want to, of course. I mean –I'll be back."

Sakura did not wait for Karui to get up from their table before she darted towards the entrance. She purposely avoided three pairs of eyes as she made her way to the ladies' room. Hinata and C were most likely looking at her with perplexed expressions, and if she were to turn around in that moment, she would've been able to confirm it. But they weren't the people she was most hesitant to look at.

Somehow, she just felt Sasuke's eyes burning holes in her back up until she opened the door to the ladies' room and closed it with force as if it was a shield protecting her from the prying vision of outsiders. She leaned against the closed door, noticing that there were other women retouching their makeup by the sinks.

Sakura made way for the women when they walked towards the door and then went to stand in front of one of the mirrors above the sinks. She placed her hands on the cool marble surface, noticing how much warmer her hands were in comparison. She looked at her own reflection, silently thanking whichever deity for being alone in the washroom.

She wanted to wash her face with cold water. She wanted to get rid of that shocked, unexpected expression that was painted on her features and that, if it went like this for a little longer, it would be noticed by her friends and boyfriend. That wasn't a possible option.

No, she needed air. Air would clear out her thoughts and set her mind in motion because she needed to figure out how Sasuke got to be in the same room as her and why. She wouldn't be gone for too long, or everyone would get worried about her whereabouts.

Sakura washed her hands and then left the ladies' room in search for the terrace she saw on her way inside the venue. If she remembered correctly, it was on her right. She walked down a carpeted hall that was adorned with smaller versions of the same crystal chandeliers that hung in the banquet hall, the sounds from tonight's events muffled.

When Sakura opened the doors to the terrace, she welcomed the cool chill of the night. The terrace was large and empty, decorated with marble-looking pillars and a silver railing that gave view to the venue's illuminated gardens. She closed her eyes and exhaled the breath she had been holding this whole time, wrapping her arms around her torso in an attempt to keep herself warm.

It was an immediate effect. Her mind began to organize her thoughts and feelings, becoming the same logical tool that helped her during the most difficult examinations in her program.

 _Okay_ , she told herself, _I know these things so far: Sasuke is in Kumo, he is attending this event on behalf of one of the companies that donated to the university. This means that he's employed, and judging by the suit he's wearing, he's been doing significantly better than any other 22 year old I've met. He's surprised to see me too, so he hasn't known where I've been or what I've been doing. But now he knows._

Sakura felt a faint pang on her chest at those last two thoughts. If Sasuke was surprised to see her, it meant that he never bothered to check in on her. He never asked Naruto what she has been up to since he left Konoha. Now that Sasuke knew, would he start to keep tabs on her? The idea that he wouldn't keep tabs on her didn't have to hurt as much as it did in that moment.

She shook her head, refocusing on the facts and the questions that came from them. Did Naruto know about this? He was in town too. He most likely knew about Sasuke coming to Kumo and didn't tell her. _Why would he?_ She caught up to her spinning thought. _Why would Naruto tell me if Sasuke was coming when I made it obvious that I didn't want anything to do with him when we met up at the bar?_

Why should she be bothered about this whole ordeal? Nobody in this event knew that she knew Sasuke. All of the people she was with met her in Kumo, years after Sasuke left her life.

No, she shouldn't be bothered. Whatever happened between her and Sasuke was in the past. She had a life, one that didn't include him and it was for the better. She should leave these feelings behind like she did a long time ago and get back to the banquet hall before–

The sound of the door opening interrupted her thoughts. Sakura turned around by instinct, not expecting anyone else to find her alone on the terrace so soon.

Except that the person who found her was the one she wanted to hide from.

"Sakura."

She caught her breath in her throat.

Sasuke stood by the door, blocking her only exit from this situation. The outdoor lights outlined his sharp nose and slanted eyes, and it highlighted his defined jawline and cheekbones. Sakura instantly became aware of how much Sasuke's face had changed since she last saw it in real life. He no longer carried the youthful appearance of a teenage boy.

No, he wasn't a teenager anymore. He stopped being one a long time ago. He was a man now. One that towered over her and whose expensive suit fit his shoulders and torso like a glove.

This was the first time she heard her name come from Sasuke's lips in over five years. His voice sounded deeper, more mature, but it had the same intonation that she remembered.

She remained silent, feeling like a deer about to be ambushed by a wolf as Sasuke took careful steps towards her. Every step matched with the loud beats of her heart and her staggered breaths.

In several occasions, Sakura had told herself that if she were to bump into Sasuke again, she would walk in the opposite direction and pretend she never saw him because that was easier than confronting him after healing and burying so many old feelings. She had moved on. It had been a struggle but she recovered and grew stronger from it.

Although the circumstances were different from what she had imagined, this was her opportunity to live up to the words she held on to. This was her chance to walk away because she never really had one and Sasuke needed to know how that felt like.

"Sakura," he tried again, this time so close that Sakura finally took notice of how long his hair had gotten. It was parted to the left, covering one of his eyes, straight and dark as always. It was almost as long as hers, she noted.

A thousand thoughts rushed into her mind from every direction. They came from the past to the present, from _then_ to _now_ , all meshed into one single word that was meant to keep her safe and protected from getting hurt again.

"No," was all she said.

Sakura saw her opportunity, walked past Sasuke towards the door that led her back into the hall and the gala and her friends, and did not turn around.

* * *

 **Then**

"Welcome home, Sasuke."

His mother's voice came from the kitchen of their small apartment and was accompanied by the smell of rice and fried fish. Sasuke went to his room to lie down on his bed, looking at the white ceiling that was covered with cracks in different places. He'd need to get that fixed soon, though he knew that his mother did not have the means to do it.

It wasn't a huge bother, he eventually told himself. After all, eventually he'd have to move out and the cracks in the ceiling wouldn't be an money he's been saving up should be used for something else anyway.

He remembered when he and mom first moved into this building. He had been ten, holding on to his mother's larger hand while she gave him a reassuring smile that everything was going to be fine and that this place would be a really comfortable new home for the two of them. The apartment was small, the smallest that the building had to offer, and had not been renovated. But it was everything that his mom could afford.

At ten, Sasuke had already noticed that they'd gone from riches to rags. The resentment still tugged in his chest, reminding him of the fantasy that his childhood had become. At ten, Sasuke realized that the world wasn't such a nice place and that the people he truly treasured could turn their backs on him at any moment. He could tell that mother struggled to adjust to their current living conditions in spite of Naruto's parents' help.

At ten, Sasuke had to grow up faster than most kids. At ten, he figured out that if there was a woman he needed to cherish and love it was her mother because she was everything he had left. And he was everything she had left.

"Dinner's ready!" Mikoto's melodic voice, one of the most soothing sounds to Sasuke's ears, announced from the kitchen.

Over the years, Sasuke noticed how his mother's plate got smaller and smaller while she offered him more rice. He noticed how she was taking random naps during the day and then pretending that there weren't any dark circles under her eyes. He noticed that the real meaning of _everything is okay, honey_ was _you're too young to worry about this, Sasuke._

And so, he began to worry in his own way and started saving money behind mother's back, knowing that she'd disapprove of his motivations and the means he was earning money.

Sasuke got up and made his way to their small living space. Their apartment didn't have much: a kitchen that acted as a living room and dining room, a bedroom that was his mother's, and the separated living room that Sasuke had taken up as his own bedroom. It wasn't much, not compared to the privileges that he had been given when he was a child, but it was enough for the two of them. As time passed, Sasuke began to notice the efforts his mother made for him and started to appreciate their small living space more than any luxurious space he'd lived in.

It wasn't much, but it was all he and mother needed.

"How was school today, darling?"

He couldn't imagine a more selfless person than Mikoto Uchiha.

"It was okay."

"Anything interesting?"

"Not really."

His mother's beautiful face lighted up in a warm smile. "Are you going to go study with Sakura when she finishes work?"

She was well aware of Sasuke's time spent with his classmate. After all, Mikoto was bound to notice that her son was coming to and from school with a girl who lived in their building. Sasuke had to contain his irritation when his mom started asking about her, and after short words, he'd said that her name was Sakura and that they were in the same class. It annoyed him that his mom was playing this game of 21 questions about Sakura, for she got him to say why they spent so much time together. Mikoto had stopped asking questions after that, much to his relief.

Nonetheless, a small part of him was fine with his mom accepting his acquaintance with Sakura. It made things easier for him. It was the perfect excuse to go out at night when he couldn't say that he was going to his part-time job. His mom would think that the dark circles under his eyes (which, now more often than not, matched hers) were due to study sessions and not his lack of sleep. It would be easier for him and Naruto to sneak out. And he didn't really have to explain to his mom what his part-time job was really about.

He would go to the parts where he knew he would always come out a winner. The parts where, as long as he didn't show up with a bruise on his face the next day, he'd continue doing so long as he could because of the monetary rewards.

Street fighting was something that his mother would never approve of, but it was the best way for Sasuke to save up money for his future and to help her pay for the living expenses. This way, he could give mother a more comfortable living. He was good at fighting, good at striking business with the owners of the underground rink, good at winning. He and Naruto would practice together and then fight in teams, but never against one another.

Their parents didn't need to know about it. As long as there weren't any bruises in their faces, Sasuke and Naruto could get away with it.

Neither of them was good at school or found what they were supposed to study interesting. Sasuke had enough going on in his life to pay attention to school, and Naruto's attention deficit made it difficult for him to concentrate in a classroom of more than twenty students. When the school year started, as well as his study sessions with Sakura, he began to pay even less attention to what was taught in class. Sakura was a better teacher than any of their qualified instructors, and he'd begun to contemplate skipping class more often. His marks were a little over average because of her help anyway.

But he found himself paying more attention to the back of Sakura's head every time they were in the same class. She'd sit at the front with Yamanaka, always attentive to what the teachers were instructing. Sasuke had been drawn to the way that she played with her =pink hair when she was thinking, the way she sometimes wore it with a headband or in a ponytail, the way she'd been letting it grow since they first started talking.

And he found that he couldn't skip class if it meant not observing her from the back. He couldn't skip class if it meant walking home withher, if it meant that he caught side glances of her face.

* * *

 **Now**

Naruto was standing in the middle of the lobby. And, as usual, he looked out of place in his black and orange jumpsuit. The hotel lobby had people dressed up in business suits coming and going, elderly wealthy women wearing fur coats and walking alongside their personal assistants. The ivory tiles, gold paint on the walls, and the intricate designs on the ceiling screamed luxury and wealth, whereas Naruto's appearance indicated a lifestyle that was the complete opposite.-meet up between Naruto and Sasuke where he thinks about his side of the story.

Sasuke instinctively adjusted his suit as he approached his best friend, the habit of fixing his appearance having been established since he became part of this wealthy world. He only wished that Naruto caught on to the ambiance around him and wouldn't stand out more than he already did.

"Oi! Teme!"

Sasuke should've known better.

Naruto waved at him, completely unaware of how loud his voice was and how bypassers were throwing him strange looks. It was one of those brief moments when Sasuke wondered why he left Naruto back into his life.

"Baka, you can't be quiet even if you know what quiet means," he greeted.-meet up between Naruto and Sasuke where he thinks about his side of the story

"What do you mean?" Naruto wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Sasuke noted how Naruto was (irritatingly) taller than him by a few inches. "Is this how you greet your best friend after not seeing me for, how long was it? Two years? You stupid bastard."

Sasuke had to hide his smirk at that last part. Naruto was one of the few people who really knew him, and who could get away with insulting him like that.

He lightly pulled Naruto's ear when the blond wasn't taking his arm off of Sasuke's shoulders. "Come on, let's go."

As they made their way to the hotel bar, Sasuke became aware of the image they made as friends. He was dressed in a dark blue suit, white shirt, and purple tie. His shoes were designer brand (courtesy of Indra Corp, or rather their intentions of making him look more expensive than he really was). He looked as professional as every other guest staying in this hotel. Naruto, on the other hand, showed signs of living the typical transitioning life of a guy in his early twenties. His bright colours screamed confidence, his clothes suggested comfort, and his attitude indicated that he wasn't in what other would consider the same level as Sasuke.

But he didn't care at all about that. He and Naruto had been like night and day since they were kids. Sasuke knew that, in spite of their differences, their level of friendship ran so deep that appearances did not matter. He knew that Naruto was the few people he felt comfortable with.

And after two years of not seeing one another, Sasuke felt a sort of relief he did not know he was holding.

"Man, out of all places, I never thought I'd see you here in Kumo," Naruto commented as he waved at the bartender and then ordered a pint of pale ale.

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. "Business as usual."

"You're not fun anymore, with all this 'business as usual' talk, like you're some sorta big deal and not the asshole I know."

Sasuke began to sip on his whiskey on the rocks while Naruto continued to ramble on and on without taking a single breath. "I'm really glad to see that your lungs haven't given up on you with all the talking you do. You still don't take breaths in between sentences, do you?"

Naruto punched him in the shoulder. "Were you even paying attention to my story?" Sasuke's silence was the only answer. "Jeez, and here I was looking forward to catching up with you, but it seems that I got a better audience somewhere else."

Both of them took a sip of their drinks, finally letting silence settle between them in that same comfortable rhythm that Sasuke has known his entire life.

"I saw her, y'know," Naruto commented. "She lives here now."

And then Sasuke realized why his best friend was so keen on meeting up with him as soon as he got to Kumo.

He felt a lump in his throat. A constriction in the suit he was wearing, like it was getting smaller and smaller and he couldn't escape from it.

"I tried to tell you, but you were really busy with your thing here," Naruto added.

Sasuke remembered that phone call, and he recalled sensing a strange vibe from it but not paying attention to it. If only he had been more attentive, he could've been prepared for the shocking surprise he got last weekend at the dinner.

If only he had been more attentive, he could've been prepared for the shocking surprise he got last weekend at the dinner. It was quite often that Indra Corp sends him to these dinners as a representative and as the new, younger face of the company. He's gotten so used to being just an image for them that all the dinner parties he's attended blur into one single memory.

However, it wasn't often that he encountered the same pair of green eyes that have been haunting him for years at one of these events.

To say that it was shocking to see Sakura _there,_ so close to him after so many years, was the biggest understatement he'd made this year so far. He never thought he'd see her again and wasn't prepared for it. Their eyes had met out of coincidence, as he usually scanned the audience during dinner parties to keep himself busy while people chit-chatted around him.

He had taken in her shocked expression, her features adorned with a maturity he never thought he'd get to see in real life. Up until that point, Sasuke's permanent image of Sakura had been that of a young girl with rounder features and a more innocent aura. This Sakura, the one he had unexpectedly seen, was older and had seen and experienced things already.

"I saw her too."

This Sakura, the one he had chased after when he'd seen her get up from her seat, had turned away from him with only one word exchanged between them.

Sasuke took a long sip of his drink as Naruto took in his revelation. It was merely coincidence that they were all (finally) in the same place and at the same time after so long. Still, coincidence or not, Sasuke was not expecting his reunion with Sakura to go the way it did. In fact, he didn't know what to expect from it, only being aware of the heavy feeling that would follow him at the thought that she had moved on from him.

"She was eventually gonna move on, to be honest," Naruto interrupted Sasuke's thoughts. "You know, with the way that things ended."

 _I wish it had been different,_ he wanted to say. _I wish I could have done things differently_.

But instead, he just said, "Yeah. You're right for once."

Naruto seemed to overlook his remark, already too familiar with Sasuke's defence mechanism when it came to sensitive matters. "She's not the only one from Konoha here. I already met up with a couple friends, and we are gonna go out this Friday. You should get your head out of your ass once in a while and be social."

Oh, if only Naruto knew the things he was up to when he was social.

"Are you telling me to clear my Friday evening?"

Naruto smirked. "That could be _just_ what I am saying."

The two knew that Naruto's words implied something else, though. Going out on Friday with Naruto and his friends meant that someone would most likely be there.

Sasuke knew that he shouldn't. He knew that he should stay hidden in the shadows as he has all these years and not approach Sakura because that was best for both of them.

But he also knew that the way that Sakura had said no to him wasn't right and that a part of him wanted to change that.

* * *

 _Phew, this was a bit longer than what I've uploaded so far!_

 _Thank you for all the feedback everyone ^_^ It really warms up my heart to see what there are some people interested in this story._

 _What do you think that happened between Sasuke and Sakura? So far we've only gotten little hints and there, and I'd like to know what you all think!_

 _See you next Friday!_

 _MSM_


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